Hormones, heart or head????

I watched friends with benefits on Sunday night, thankfully with a group of friends and not with parents as it was one of the cringiest movies I have seen in ages! Cringy, but the hopelessly romantic sap in me (buried real deep mind!) loved every second of it!

In one part of the movie the main actress mentions a 5 date rule. Essentially no sex until date number 5. So as a group of females are wont to do, we got chatting about this issue. One of my friend piped up that this is the kind of stuff I should write about, so I am – I’m not sure that I’ll have much insight to offer though!

Basically how long should you wait until you have sex with someone? The obvious answer is wait until you’re ready; unfortunately though, your body is normally miles ahead of being ready compared to your head and heart. I still think it depends what you are after, if you want to just satisfy (tee hee) your hormones, and you’re not bothered about a call back or seeing them again why wait? The problem is that as females it is not so easy for us to do that. A little corner of our souls wants more, wants to be called back, wants to feel like that special one – no matter how much we protest that we don’t!

So if you’re looking for a relationship and not just casual sex, how long do you hold out to know that a man isn’t going to do the nasty and disappear into a puff of smoke? I suppose it depends on the guy and how much they like a challenge, after all not all men are just looking for a quick lay, and really it costs NOTHING for a guy (or girl, I suppose it does work both ways) to say the right things at the right time then next second you know you’re feeling very used and wondering where the hell that ‘perfect man’ disappeared to, leaving this weird alien in his place to walk out the door never to be seen or heard from again.

Honestly I think to play it safe, the longer you wait, the less likely the guy is just out to add you to the notches in his bedpost. I used to think a good 3 months would do the trick, but that is very, very hard to achieve; even for an ice queen!

My advice would actually be to be upfront and honest about what you are looking for, if you don’t tell, they won’t know! Complete honesty comes with a risk though, for some reason men (I really do apologise for the generalisation) seem to think that as soon as you’re not just into casual sex you want to be with them forever, get married and have babies (weird I know) and so they run (if that was really the case I would also be sprinting out the door!).

Ultimately try use your head as a thinking organ and not as a sex organ and that will hopefully help you out!